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Is this really happening?Hello? Do you see me? Im sitting right next to you.
"Helllllo?" No reply, you're lost, in the zone.
I wonder when she will notice me... "Look what i did!" You say, finally looking up.
You show me with a huge smile on your face. I smile back and say i like it, when i do it makes you happy.
"Good job" I say. You go back to your world for a while, so i sit back and cross my arms.
"Hey, can w--" You cut me off "Im bored, do you want to watch me play games?" Another huge smile. I sigh to myself, "Sure"
Then yet again you're lost, gone from reality. You play for about an hour and a half before i finally speak up and say that ive had enough.
"You do realize that im leaving for THREE WEEKS in a few days, when are you going to spend time with me?"
"I am spending time with you, you're here right?" You say.
"Oh wow, i thought you'd never realize that" I reply with sarcasm.
You don't reply.
"What do those games have that i dont? Games will never love you back..." Tears form in my eyes.
Here's my letterIt's all new to me, and i don't know what's wrong.
The shaking hands and fast heart beat. Just an attack.
Then tingly arms and legs, that i can barely move. "Is this normal?"
I'm spinning, but not moving. Bring on the light head.
I need to sit down, I feel like I'm going to fall. My back is screaming and sending sharp pains near my kidneys. "What's wrong with me?" The pain moves up, and up, until it reaches my brain. My eyes begin to water. "Okay, now this really hurts"
It turns out, no one has a clue what this means. I'm just another patient, nothing to diagnose.
Home brings another flaw. Anger.
No reason for it, just plain hatred.
This is nothing new.
Blah, blah, blah, you've heard it all before. "That's it?" You say.
It builds, and grows into something that I can't even explain.
"GO THE **** AWAY" But i could never really say it.
"I'm okay, i promise" But I'm lying. Every second without an answer, makes its less and less okay.
My mind, is a mumbled, jumbled mess.
I can't think strai
Goodbye to youIt hurts.. It hurts so bad..
My chest, its... I can't breathe. Please... Someone.. Save me.
Im being ingulfed with flames, but there is no fire.
This burning.. It's unreal, like no other.
Make it stop! Please!
Im hiding behind false hope, "why did i get myself into this?"
Whats that noise? It sounds like thumping.. Its getting louder now, make it stop!
Now i cant see, there is a fog. My vision is blurry, "whats wrong with me?"
Then i feel the cold droplet run down my cheek. "Oh, i tear"
Then more. More and more tears, "Why wont they stop".
I can't deal with this anymore.. I need relief, closure..
But what? How?
"Oh! I know" Is that a smile i feel forming?
It's cruel, but i like it..
This is my goodbye, goodbye to you.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More