FallingI cant believe this has happened. I cannot believe what terrible pain I put myself through. And for what? Wasted time, and broken dreams. Shattered and hopeless dreams. And it was all a lie. Every last word that was said to me. The story changed everyday, for almost two years. I don't know what I did to deserve what I was put through. I believe in karma, so maybe it was payback. Was it really worth dying over? To die because I couldn't live with the thought of not having such a wonderful person in my life? But it wasn't wonderful. It was beyond terrible. It has scarred me in every way possible. Im afraid to start over and let my walls down, yet I know its something that is unavoidable. Its going to happen no matter what. Im just scared. I don't want to give in, just to be hurt again. I really could not live with myself if I am put through that pain again. It kills me to sit here and think about it all, after having done such a good job of keeping it off of my mind. Ive been
Its overMy world is slowly crumbling down. All the feelings i once had are all gone. Everything i felt that kept me alive, its gone, because you're gone. I know its all going to get worse from here, so lets hope i make it out... I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You...Did I really mean nothing to you? Everything you said, everything you did, was it all for nothing? Every time we kissed, every time I made you smile and cry, every hug, every time we made love, everything? All the memories, two whole years. Every tear, every laugh, every time you got butterflies in your stomach, every time our hands were intertwined, every time you promised you'd never let me go I am this close to finally letting go of you. Letting go of every single day we spent together . How on earth can you do it so easily? I wish I was like you.. Strong. But me? Im weak.
I took down all your memories and boxed up all your gifts, they are now safe away from my view. To see them will bring you back. As of now im trying to erase it all. Everything I don't want to, but I have to. Nothing lasts forever. Im doing it for you, for me, for my family, and most importantly her.
Ive said goodbye a few times now, but I wouldn't be writing this is I didn't
The last timeOne last look at all the pictures A few more tears.. One last glance at what we could have had. Was it all a waste? No, im told. I learned and experienced some of the greatest things in my life. How many times can you try before it isn't good enough anymore? Its not gona be easy, but I think I can do it. Let go, live life. That's all I can do, is just live. What happens, happens, and we have no control. "Live, Laugh, Love" That's what you told me, and its what I shall live by. It was for the best, because it was bound to happen eventually. If we meet in the future, who knows what will happen. But like I said, what happens, happens. So I have one last thing to say to you. Don't take it the wrong way, just remember that everything that we had, said and did was all real. So here it goes Goodbye.
Cant handle itDo you know how hard it was to say goodbye? How hard it was not to cry that you arent mine anymore? To see you scorn me, and wish horrible things upon me. To make me suffer. To push me past the point of destruction.
All ive ever wanted was to see you happy. But now that i see it, ive come to the realization that i cant handle it.
But with her, i feel alive again. My body tingles and tells me to follow my heart. But my brain is telling me to stop and think about what im doing. The feeling of lust and passion fills my being, but shortly after i feel the agony grow stronger.
I don't want her to stop, i want to go all the way. I don't want you to leave, i want you to stay.
Am i moving on? Or is what im doing wrong. I don't know what to do, i don't know what to say. I cant let go. I cant just pretend that all those memories mean nothing. It meant the world. It was everything i ever needed.
I don't want you to leave, but i suffer because of it. I cant delete you from my life. And
FarwellI miss the days you held me and the days I hear your voice. I miss the days you were there. Us falling apart wasnt my choice. I miss the days you kissed me and the feelings we used to show. But most of all I miss the girl that I thought I used to know.
Im tired of feeling this way. I know it would be right for me to let go but no matter how much I tell myself to do it, I cant. I tell myself that its better to never see you again, but no matter how much I try to forget, it always makes me remember all the good times we had, and even the bad, and how much I regret the things Ive done, all the things Ive said.
I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, for those were some of the best and memorable times of my life.
A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around.
You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose i
The EndGoodbye to you, goodbye to us. You will never be forgotten,or replaced. No one can take your place. I never said i wouldnt be happy with someone else, they just wont be what you were. My first everything Ill sit back and look at this one day and remember one simple thing That i loved you.
Not aloneUnder the stars, we run in the wind. Taking every single moment that we can.
Look into your eyes, we run from the lights.Believe it but you can't know how I feel.
I can't believe that you still think we're friends. Like someone I just met, you can't pretend. That you don't feel the magic, tell your mind. And I am on a mission to show you how.
These are moments you can't live without, knowing that you can't ever say goodbye.
And you feel like you're all alone. Can't you recover your heart and let it go?
And you see just how good we'd be. Just close your eyes now and let your body feel.
And now you feel like you're all alone.
My love will surround you, in ways that you don't know.
And now you feel like it could be real.
My love will surround you, close your eyes and see.
And out of this daze, where memories were made. And tell you how the life you want to leave.
Lightning will strike in a way that you like. And fate will take its hand just come to me.
I can't believe you're coming back a
Winter dreamMy eyes shoot open and I sit up quickly in bed. I look over at the alarm clock "3:30" a.m. It reads. I turn to look over at you, but you aren't there. I call out your name as I look around the moon lit room and touch your place in the bed. I take off the covers and get up to find you. I peer out the sliding glass doors of our room, it's snowing again. So I put on my cheetah print slippers, grab a jacket and walk to the back door. I look out again and touch the frozen glass. My warm breath leaves condensation; I run my fingers across it. I notice footsteps in the snow, so I open the back door and step out on the porch. I call your name again and still no answer. The footsteps seem to lead off into the woods, I follow them. I shiver a little as I pass the gate and get farther away from the house. Looking around the snow fallen woods I gaze up at the stars. They twinkle. Coming back down to earth, I see you standing about twenty feet away from me. You are still in your pajamas. "There you
School, Tests, and All The RestI'm not smart enough for this.
I have no answer for this question.
The more I search my brain,
The more I feel inadequate.
I cannot fathom the correct answer.
Didn't I study this for hours?
Why is your intellect based
On such trivial things?
Apparently, I am not as smart as I thought.
Why don't I know what to write?
This test is a nightmare.
Why can't I get this right?
The only thing about me I was proud of
Has now vanished
Because my textbook knowledge
Wasn't up to par.
Letters to all the people I have kissedi. Rob
I expected a knight in shining armour but you were
just a boy, just a boy.
you flirted and you teased and you kissed me
at midnight on new year’s eve and set the tone
for that whole god-forsaken year.
I could taste lies on your tongue and doubt in your fingers;
you said you were a taurus but you were gemini all over.
friends shouldn’t kiss in the kitchen and
friends shouldn’t drink gin together and
friends shouldn’t cry, drunk on misery, and
friends shouldn’t break another friend’s heart and
I’m still sorry.
I expected just a boy but you were
a knight in shining armour, silver to the pretty
ivory teeth, who was looking for a damsel and found
only don quixote, tilting at windmills and refusing
to be saved.
we were drunk and you were more beautiful
under the harsh car park lights than I had noticed before
and you were mid-sentence and I was mid-hiccup and
we still laugh about it now.
Dear MeDear me, I know we've had disagreements
And that we don't always see eye to eye,
But the last thing I want for you
Is to feel like you have to say goodbye.
Dear me, I know you've been hurting a while
And I know that you're sick of the misery,
But just keep holding on a day at a time
And someday you'll find yourself set free.
Dear me, I know you've been crying.
I've seen your demons give chase.
Smile instead for things will get better.
Wipe those tears off your pretty face.
Dear me, I know your heart is breaking,
Like your being is shattered in two,
But please, don't give up just yet.
The survival rate is too few.
Dear me, I see that you're struggling,
That you feel like you're on the brink.
But keep pushing forward, keep fighting.
You're much stronger than you think.
Dear me, I feel so proud of you.
You've made it out alive.
You're happy now with all you've gained.
You've reached all for which you did strive.
HopeWhen no one else ever seemed to notice me,
You were the first to say "hello".
And you did so with beaming joy.
When I felt so outcast and alone from the world,
You were the one who sat by my side.
And listened with an open heart.
When no one else would acknowledge my very existence,
You were the one to reach out and bare your soul to me.
And you made me feel like somebody.
When I thought of so many reasons to die...
You became my reason to live...
And I will never forget that.
Low TideThese thoughts and feelings fill my head,
simple things but left unsaid.
It's a never ending wave,
all these things I crave.
Overtakes me and drags me out to sea,
I swim for the shoreline, swim for the surface,
to try and break free,
but this under tow has a hold of me.
It is a crushing wave, these thoughts.
it drags me and pull me down,
I can't help it, you see.
I'm afraid I have to drown.
But then air fills my lungs,
and the waters recede,
saved by low tide,
I'm finally freed.
vogue is full of contusions it's fashion week
an d it smells
a n d lust, of fur coats,
swe e/at, and dust.
silence and tongues
like a coffin
and th r oats
and hurdle puddles of your past
and give them to please
let me soak it in my abdomen
and thrust against my hips
until knees buckle
and we crumble together
i am failing
you are lying
but we are fucking
or maybe fucking dying
or tucking crying
in the holster of these paper cuts
tell us who we gotta be
or gonna see
in the afterlife of
This Is SchizophreniaI feel like I'm talking to myself,
and not in the humorous way,
not like the, I'm “going” insane way
because I am Insane.
I'm insane in the sense that I can hear
things that aren't necessarily there,
things that burrow their little bodies
inside of my ears.
And insane in the way I see things, things that
you can't see. And trust me it's
nothing to “feel” special about, not a magic act,
not a special power that I harness.
This is schizophrenia.
This is a delusion so real and “natural”
that you can't tell whether it's imagination
or something unnatural
This is a nightmare that never goes away,
that a pinch to the arm only angers more
than medications that are supposed to stop
the mental sores.
These are arms so red and angry,
because pinching doesn't work,
but you pinch and pinch and pinch
in order to maintain some sort of normality.
And these next few lines are not to
dote down on Christians, because
I'm one of you. Just God's
forsaken child, I
A Plethora in need of an earA Plethora in need of a Ear
An abundance of this world
Told they need to succeed, told to be
the weight of family ties, economic success, and a
Soldier BoyOne day he came home,
A man given freedom.
He looked in the mirror,
And liked what he saw...
The days wore on,
And he lived his life.
Morning PT was a distant memory,
So too were the shouts of a Sergeant.
Training came thrice at first,
Then twice, then once,
The days wore on...
And life became harder,
Sacrifices were made.
He looked in the mirror one day,
And didn't like what he saw.
Not the pot-bellied man working for a few scraps.
Nor the slovenly fellow who'd forgotten how to clean his kit.
He earned his freedom, but he had lost what he respected...
And the days wore on...
And so he went out running, one fateful day,
His lungs burning with every breath.
Yet despite the pain inside his chest,
He resolved the soldier, would return to his best.
"You've been gone a long time Corporal Chen, what say we go once more around
-Word of Chen, One-shot, 24 February
Take my lifeThis is what i get. You got your wish, my world is crashing down around me. I should have never let you go. I was wrong. I was more than wrong. Im trying so hard not to do anything stupid. We all have something worth living for, but im tired of waiting for it. You will never see this, you will never care, and you will never love me. Im sorry, for everything.