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FallingI cant believe this has happened. I cannot believe what terrible pain I put myself through. And for what? Wasted time, and broken dreams. Shattered and hopeless dreams. And it was all a lie. Every last word that was said to me. The story changed everyday, for almost two years. I don't know what I did to deserve what I was put through. I believe in karma, so maybe it was payback. Was it really worth dying over? To die because I couldn't live with the thought of not having such a wonderful person in my life? But it wasn't wonderful. It was beyond terrible. It has scarred me in every way possible. Im afraid to start over and let my walls down, yet I know its something that is unavoidable. Its going to happen no matter what. Im just scared. I don't want to give in, just to be hurt again. I really could not live with myself if I am put through that pain again. It kills me to sit here and think about it all, after having done such a good job of keeping it off of my mind. Ive been
Its overMy world is slowly crumbling down. All the feelings i once had are all gone. Everything i felt that kept me alive, its gone, because you're gone. I know its all going to get worse from here, so lets hope i make it out... I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You...Did I really mean nothing to you? Everything you said, everything you did, was it all for nothing? Every time we kissed, every time I made you smile and cry, every hug, every time we made love, everything? All the memories, two whole years. Every tear, every laugh, every time you got butterflies in your stomach, every time our hands were intertwined, every time you promised you'd never let me go I am this close to finally letting go of you. Letting go of every single day we spent together . How on earth can you do it so easily? I wish I was like you.. Strong. But me? Im weak.
I took down all your memories and boxed up all your gifts, they are now safe away from my view. To see them will bring you back. As of now im trying to erase it all. Everything I don't want to, but I have to. Nothing lasts forever. Im doing it for you, for me, for my family, and most importantly her.
Ive said goodbye a few times now, but I wouldn't be writing this is I didn't
The last timeOne last look at all the pictures A few more tears.. One last glance at what we could have had. Was it all a waste? No, im told. I learned and experienced some of the greatest things in my life. How many times can you try before it isn't good enough anymore? Its not gona be easy, but I think I can do it. Let go, live life. That's all I can do, is just live. What happens, happens, and we have no control. "Live, Laugh, Love" That's what you told me, and its what I shall live by. It was for the best, because it was bound to happen eventually. If we meet in the future, who knows what will happen. But like I said, what happens, happens. So I have one last thing to say to you. Don't take it the wrong way, just remember that everything that we had, said and did was all real. So here it goes Goodbye.
Cant handle itDo you know how hard it was to say goodbye? How hard it was not to cry that you arent mine anymore? To see you scorn me, and wish horrible things upon me. To make me suffer. To push me past the point of destruction.
All ive ever wanted was to see you happy. But now that i see it, ive come to the realization that i cant handle it.
But with her, i feel alive again. My body tingles and tells me to follow my heart. But my brain is telling me to stop and think about what im doing. The feeling of lust and passion fills my being, but shortly after i feel the agony grow stronger.
I don't want her to stop, i want to go all the way. I don't want you to leave, i want you to stay.
Am i moving on? Or is what im doing wrong. I don't know what to do, i don't know what to say. I cant let go. I cant just pretend that all those memories mean nothing. It meant the world. It was everything i ever needed.
I don't want you to leave, but i suffer because of it. I cant delete you from my life. And
FarwellI miss the days you held me and the days I hear your voice. I miss the days you were there. Us falling apart wasnt my choice. I miss the days you kissed me and the feelings we used to show. But most of all I miss the girl that I thought I used to know.
Im tired of feeling this way. I know it would be right for me to let go but no matter how much I tell myself to do it, I cant. I tell myself that its better to never see you again, but no matter how much I try to forget, it always makes me remember all the good times we had, and even the bad, and how much I regret the things Ive done, all the things Ive said.
I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, for those were some of the best and memorable times of my life.
A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around.
You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose i
The EndGoodbye to you, goodbye to us. You will never be forgotten,or replaced. No one can take your place. I never said i wouldnt be happy with someone else, they just wont be what you were. My first everything Ill sit back and look at this one day and remember one simple thing That i loved you.
Not aloneUnder the stars, we run in the wind. Taking every single moment that we can.
Look into your eyes, we run from the lights.Believe it but you can't know how I feel.
I can't believe that you still think we're friends. Like someone I just met, you can't pretend. That you don't feel the magic, tell your mind. And I am on a mission to show you how.
These are moments you can't live without, knowing that you can't ever say goodbye.
And you feel like you're all alone. Can't you recover your heart and let it go?
And you see just how good we'd be. Just close your eyes now and let your body feel.
And now you feel like you're all alone.
My love will surround you, in ways that you don't know.
And now you feel like it could be real.
My love will surround you, close your eyes and see.
And out of this daze, where memories were made. And tell you how the life you want to leave.
Lightning will strike in a way that you like. And fate will take its hand just come to me.
I can't believe you're coming back a
Winter dreamMy eyes shoot open and I sit up quickly in bed. I look over at the alarm clock "3:30" a.m. It reads. I turn to look over at you, but you aren't there. I call out your name as I look around the moon lit room and touch your place in the bed. I take off the covers and get up to find you. I peer out the sliding glass doors of our room, it's snowing again. So I put on my cheetah print slippers, grab a jacket and walk to the back door. I look out again and touch the frozen glass. My warm breath leaves condensation; I run my fingers across it. I notice footsteps in the snow, so I open the back door and step out on the porch. I call your name again and still no answer. The footsteps seem to lead off into the woods, I follow them. I shiver a little as I pass the gate and get farther away from the house. Looking around the snow fallen woods I gaze up at the stars. They twinkle. Coming back down to earth, I see you standing about twenty feet away from me. You are still in your pajamas. "There you
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
I Thought I Needed FeminismI thought I needed feminism, when I was a little girl.
And I am very sad to admit, that this wasn't very long ago.
I thought when he held the door open for me, that he was making a big mistake.
That he was being a pompous ass, and he took my strength for a fake.
And when he offered to pay my tab, I still called him an ass.
Because I thought he assumed I was poor, and below middle class.
Or when his hard work earned him a promotion,
yet I did nothing, and the boss' ignorance to promote me, I believed was a sexist notion.
My friend really wanted feminism when she found her ex-dead drunk,
removed his clothes, and without his consent, had a pleasurable fuck.
When her parents bust into the room unexpected that night,
she said he raped her, and he was arrested without so much as a fight.
Perhaps feminism was there when I walked out into the street in pure nudity,
and shouted the my neighbors “You have no right to judge me!”
I didn't care about the children who were standing in th
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
DifferentDifferent on the outside,
Different mask you see daily,
Different girl you call ‘Hailey’
To my surprise
Your ears are distracted,
So I tell lies, looking into your eyes,
“Yea I’m fine. Simply tired”
For that response my brain is wired.
Different mouth you hear speaking,
Different voice you hear screaming
Different eyes you see pleading,
Different person you’d befriended
I’m sorry this is how it’s ended.
Take my lifeThis is what i get. You got your wish, my world is crashing down around me. I should have never let you go. I was wrong. I was more than wrong. Im trying so hard not to do anything stupid. We all have something worth living for, but im tired of waiting for it. You will never see this, you will never care, and you will never love me. Im sorry, for everything.
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