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FallingI cant believe this has happened. I cannot believe what terrible pain I put myself through. And for what? Wasted time, and broken dreams. Shattered and hopeless dreams. And it was all a lie. Every last word that was said to me. The story changed everyday, for almost two years. I don't know what I did to deserve what I was put through. I believe in karma, so maybe it was payback. Was it really worth dying over? To die because I couldn't live with the thought of not having such a wonderful person in my life? But it wasn't wonderful. It was beyond terrible. It has scarred me in every way possible. Im afraid to start over and let my walls down, yet I know its something that is unavoidable. Its going to happen no matter what. Im just scared. I don't want to give in, just to be hurt again. I really could not live with myself if I am put through that pain again. It kills me to sit here and think about it all, after having done such a good job of keeping it off of my mind. Ive been
Its overMy world is slowly crumbling down. All the feelings i once had are all gone. Everything i felt that kept me alive, its gone, because you're gone. I know its all going to get worse from here, so lets hope i make it out... I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You...Did I really mean nothing to you? Everything you said, everything you did, was it all for nothing? Every time we kissed, every time I made you smile and cry, every hug, every time we made love, everything? All the memories, two whole years. Every tear, every laugh, every time you got butterflies in your stomach, every time our hands were intertwined, every time you promised you'd never let me go I am this close to finally letting go of you. Letting go of every single day we spent together . How on earth can you do it so easily? I wish I was like you.. Strong. But me? Im weak.
I took down all your memories and boxed up all your gifts, they are now safe away from my view. To see them will bring you back. As of now im trying to erase it all. Everything I don't want to, but I have to. Nothing lasts forever. Im doing it for you, for me, for my family, and most importantly her.
Ive said goodbye a few times now, but I wouldn't be writing this is I didn't
The last timeOne last look at all the pictures A few more tears.. One last glance at what we could have had. Was it all a waste? No, im told. I learned and experienced some of the greatest things in my life. How many times can you try before it isn't good enough anymore? Its not gona be easy, but I think I can do it. Let go, live life. That's all I can do, is just live. What happens, happens, and we have no control. "Live, Laugh, Love" That's what you told me, and its what I shall live by. It was for the best, because it was bound to happen eventually. If we meet in the future, who knows what will happen. But like I said, what happens, happens. So I have one last thing to say to you. Don't take it the wrong way, just remember that everything that we had, said and did was all real. So here it goes Goodbye.
Cant handle itDo you know how hard it was to say goodbye? How hard it was not to cry that you arent mine anymore? To see you scorn me, and wish horrible things upon me. To make me suffer. To push me past the point of destruction.
All ive ever wanted was to see you happy. But now that i see it, ive come to the realization that i cant handle it.
But with her, i feel alive again. My body tingles and tells me to follow my heart. But my brain is telling me to stop and think about what im doing. The feeling of lust and passion fills my being, but shortly after i feel the agony grow stronger.
I don't want her to stop, i want to go all the way. I don't want you to leave, i want you to stay.
Am i moving on? Or is what im doing wrong. I don't know what to do, i don't know what to say. I cant let go. I cant just pretend that all those memories mean nothing. It meant the world. It was everything i ever needed.
I don't want you to leave, but i suffer because of it. I cant delete you from my life. And
FarwellI miss the days you held me and the days I hear your voice. I miss the days you were there. Us falling apart wasnt my choice. I miss the days you kissed me and the feelings we used to show. But most of all I miss the girl that I thought I used to know.
Im tired of feeling this way. I know it would be right for me to let go but no matter how much I tell myself to do it, I cant. I tell myself that its better to never see you again, but no matter how much I try to forget, it always makes me remember all the good times we had, and even the bad, and how much I regret the things Ive done, all the things Ive said.
I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, for those were some of the best and memorable times of my life.
A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around.
You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose i
The EndGoodbye to you, goodbye to us. You will never be forgotten,or replaced. No one can take your place. I never said i wouldnt be happy with someone else, they just wont be what you were. My first everything Ill sit back and look at this one day and remember one simple thing That i loved you.
Not aloneUnder the stars, we run in the wind. Taking every single moment that we can.
Look into your eyes, we run from the lights.Believe it but you can't know how I feel.
I can't believe that you still think we're friends. Like someone I just met, you can't pretend. That you don't feel the magic, tell your mind. And I am on a mission to show you how.
These are moments you can't live without, knowing that you can't ever say goodbye.
And you feel like you're all alone. Can't you recover your heart and let it go?
And you see just how good we'd be. Just close your eyes now and let your body feel.
And now you feel like you're all alone.
My love will surround you, in ways that you don't know.
And now you feel like it could be real.
My love will surround you, close your eyes and see.
And out of this daze, where memories were made. And tell you how the life you want to leave.
Lightning will strike in a way that you like. And fate will take its hand just come to me.
I can't believe you're coming back a
Winter dreamMy eyes shoot open and I sit up quickly in bed. I look over at the alarm clock "3:30" a.m. It reads. I turn to look over at you, but you aren't there. I call out your name as I look around the moon lit room and touch your place in the bed. I take off the covers and get up to find you. I peer out the sliding glass doors of our room, it's snowing again. So I put on my cheetah print slippers, grab a jacket and walk to the back door. I look out again and touch the frozen glass. My warm breath leaves condensation; I run my fingers across it. I notice footsteps in the snow, so I open the back door and step out on the porch. I call your name again and still no answer. The footsteps seem to lead off into the woods, I follow them. I shiver a little as I pass the gate and get farther away from the house. Looking around the snow fallen woods I gaze up at the stars. They twinkle. Coming back down to earth, I see you standing about twenty feet away from me. You are still in your pajamas. "There you
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
specter boys have always looked best sinkinghe says,
i want to count all 206 &
feel the notches of your ribs -
i want you, weary boy, to
phase yourself down while
you are burning inside out.
i will seethe inside your skull
like thoughts, like cigarette filters;
you will thank me as i molder in your marrow.
These Faded KeysOf all the keys I click
As we speak each day,
It's the back arrow
That's faded most
These white letters
Would surely tell you,
I reply to everything -
But the key reading "enter"
Will be the one to explain
Why it still looks new
I want you to know
Just how much I care,
But I don't want to be close
Out of the fear of losing you
But please remember:
I dedicate these words to you,
Sharing them to the world
Rather than clicking away
At the faded key ~
Take my lifeThis is what i get. You got your wish, my world is crashing down around me. I should have never let you go. I was wrong. I was more than wrong. Im trying so hard not to do anything stupid. We all have something worth living for, but im tired of waiting for it. You will never see this, you will never care, and you will never love me. Im sorry, for everything.
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