FallingI cant believe this has happened. I cannot believe what terrible pain I put myself through. And for what? Wasted time, and broken dreams. Shattered and hopeless dreams. And it was all a lie. Every last word that was said to me. The story changed everyday, for almost two years. I don't know what I did to deserve what I was put through. I believe in karma, so maybe it was payback. Was it really worth dying over? To die because I couldn't live with the thought of not having such a wonderful person in my life? But it wasn't wonderful. It was beyond terrible. It has scarred me in every way possible. Im afraid to start over and let my walls down, yet I know its something that is unavoidable. Its going to happen no matter what. Im just scared. I don't want to give in, just to be hurt again. I really could not live with myself if I am put through that pain again. It kills me to sit here and think about it all, after having done such a good job of keeping it off of my mind. Ive been
Its overMy world is slowly crumbling down. All the feelings i once had are all gone. Everything i felt that kept me alive, its gone, because you're gone. I know its all going to get worse from here, so lets hope i make it out... I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You...Did I really mean nothing to you? Everything you said, everything you did, was it all for nothing? Every time we kissed, every time I made you smile and cry, every hug, every time we made love, everything? All the memories, two whole years. Every tear, every laugh, every time you got butterflies in your stomach, every time our hands were intertwined, every time you promised you'd never let me go I am this close to finally letting go of you. Letting go of every single day we spent together . How on earth can you do it so easily? I wish I was like you.. Strong. But me? Im weak.
I took down all your memories and boxed up all your gifts, they are now safe away from my view. To see them will bring you back. As of now im trying to erase it all. Everything I don't want to, but I have to. Nothing lasts forever. Im doing it for you, for me, for my family, and most importantly her.
Ive said goodbye a few times now, but I wouldn't be writing this is I didn't
The last timeOne last look at all the pictures A few more tears.. One last glance at what we could have had. Was it all a waste? No, im told. I learned and experienced some of the greatest things in my life. How many times can you try before it isn't good enough anymore? Its not gona be easy, but I think I can do it. Let go, live life. That's all I can do, is just live. What happens, happens, and we have no control. "Live, Laugh, Love" That's what you told me, and its what I shall live by. It was for the best, because it was bound to happen eventually. If we meet in the future, who knows what will happen. But like I said, what happens, happens. So I have one last thing to say to you. Don't take it the wrong way, just remember that everything that we had, said and did was all real. So here it goes Goodbye.
Cant handle itDo you know how hard it was to say goodbye? How hard it was not to cry that you arent mine anymore? To see you scorn me, and wish horrible things upon me. To make me suffer. To push me past the point of destruction.
All ive ever wanted was to see you happy. But now that i see it, ive come to the realization that i cant handle it.
But with her, i feel alive again. My body tingles and tells me to follow my heart. But my brain is telling me to stop and think about what im doing. The feeling of lust and passion fills my being, but shortly after i feel the agony grow stronger.
I don't want her to stop, i want to go all the way. I don't want you to leave, i want you to stay.
Am i moving on? Or is what im doing wrong. I don't know what to do, i don't know what to say. I cant let go. I cant just pretend that all those memories mean nothing. It meant the world. It was everything i ever needed.
I don't want you to leave, but i suffer because of it. I cant delete you from my life. And
FarwellI miss the days you held me and the days I hear your voice. I miss the days you were there. Us falling apart wasnt my choice. I miss the days you kissed me and the feelings we used to show. But most of all I miss the girl that I thought I used to know.
Im tired of feeling this way. I know it would be right for me to let go but no matter how much I tell myself to do it, I cant. I tell myself that its better to never see you again, but no matter how much I try to forget, it always makes me remember all the good times we had, and even the bad, and how much I regret the things Ive done, all the things Ive said.
I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other, for those were some of the best and memorable times of my life.
A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around.
You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose i
The EndGoodbye to you, goodbye to us. You will never be forgotten,or replaced. No one can take your place. I never said i wouldnt be happy with someone else, they just wont be what you were. My first everything Ill sit back and look at this one day and remember one simple thing That i loved you.
Not aloneUnder the stars, we run in the wind. Taking every single moment that we can.
Look into your eyes, we run from the lights.Believe it but you can't know how I feel.
I can't believe that you still think we're friends. Like someone I just met, you can't pretend. That you don't feel the magic, tell your mind. And I am on a mission to show you how.
These are moments you can't live without, knowing that you can't ever say goodbye.
And you feel like you're all alone. Can't you recover your heart and let it go?
And you see just how good we'd be. Just close your eyes now and let your body feel.
And now you feel like you're all alone.
My love will surround you, in ways that you don't know.
And now you feel like it could be real.
My love will surround you, close your eyes and see.
And out of this daze, where memories were made. And tell you how the life you want to leave.
Lightning will strike in a way that you like. And fate will take its hand just come to me.
I can't believe you're coming back a
Winter dreamMy eyes shoot open and I sit up quickly in bed. I look over at the alarm clock "3:30" a.m. It reads. I turn to look over at you, but you aren't there. I call out your name as I look around the moon lit room and touch your place in the bed. I take off the covers and get up to find you. I peer out the sliding glass doors of our room, it's snowing again. So I put on my cheetah print slippers, grab a jacket and walk to the back door. I look out again and touch the frozen glass. My warm breath leaves condensation; I run my fingers across it. I notice footsteps in the snow, so I open the back door and step out on the porch. I call your name again and still no answer. The footsteps seem to lead off into the woods, I follow them. I shiver a little as I pass the gate and get farther away from the house. Looking around the snow fallen woods I gaze up at the stars. They twinkle. Coming back down to earth, I see you standing about twenty feet away from me. You are still in your pajamas. "There you
You are EverythingYou are amazing.
You are the smiling face,
That gave that kid
Better hope for this place.
You are the helping hand,
Even if you didn’t know it,
That helped everything turn out
Better than planned.
You are the voice
That helped someone
Make a vital choice.
You are the joke
That made them laugh
And gave them that stroke
Of happiness that they needed.
You are the bright eyes
That light the way,
A lantern of hope
Through the fog of lies.
You are their push towards
Their positive afterwards.
And you are far from worthless.
Are the most important person
In the world.
We are all characters
In someone else’s story.
That pivotal point,
That pushes them from misery,
And leads them to their glory.
Past Tense BluesWases
So are weres;
And it's the becauses
That make them feel
That much worse.
You're Going to be Okay.It’s not your fault.
It’s not what you deserve.
Don’t think that way,
Because one day,
This won’t matter anyways.
Keep your head held high for now,
I know it hurts,
Words can feel suffocating.
As you feel like your lungs are collapsing,
Under the weight of the pain,
In your chest.
I know it stings,
And it seems like it takes forever for the bell to ring.
As you count down the hours.
But it doesn’t matter.
When you just go home,
To sit in your room alone.
Because words unlike bruises don’t go away.
Once they are said they are here to stay.
And silence is excruciating.
But being in a crowd of violent stares,
Is no better.
So where do you go?
Is the question you’ll never know.
But don’t give up just yet!
Things will not always be like this.
Yes, today seems hopeless.
Tomorrow seems worse.
One more day of hearing another hateful word.
Might make your head explode,
And sometimes you want to drive yourself completely off the road.
I Will Love MyselfSilence was at my doorstep.
Rain fell from the storms of my eyes
and hit the cold earth of my cheeks.
Sunlight fell down my face
in gentle waves.
And blood tinted lips
smiled only slightly.
The gentle spring
that bloomed inside my chest
had begun to grow
and replace the winter
whose frost had held tightly
onto my heart.
Silence was welcome.
Tears were shed in joy.
Sunlight was here to warm
and blood to live.
This was it.
I had made it.
I know who I am.
I locked you in my closet,
in the recesses of my mind.
I kept you in the dark,
I kept you in the stagnant, static,
strangling air for what seemed like
years because you couldn't
remember what day looked like anymore.
(You would sit facing the wall,
scratching letters into the paint,
nails curling and cracking upward.
"I love you,
I love you,
I love you," over and over until
you would bleed from your eyes
because you couldn't
keep them open anymore.
That paint was toxic.
You fed off the fumes of dried
polymer and you were so sure that
if you tried hard enough
the words would go through
It must've taken months.
The world traveled around the sun
like you traveled around me,
hovering from a distance
so that I wouldn't burn you.
They all say that it was my
gravity that pulled you
toward me, but it was always you,
They say love is blind and I believe it.
But we didn't start out
loving each other like we do now.
Eat Something, PleaseIt's your fault, you know.
It's you who's spewing your guts into the toilet,
like powdery snow.
Every day you hit the bathroom floor,
grasp the porcelain rims,
and your vomit echo through the door.
I hate it! I hate it, more than anything in the world.
I wish you could just tape your mouth shut,
and your noises I could ignore.
It's all about you, and the agony you've been through,
but through your selfishness and saliva,
I hope you realize I suffer too.
I stay by your side when you treat me like crap.
When you scream at me and yell,
I've always had your back.
How I wish I could purge when life gets too tough,
I wish I could be weak like you,
but my strength is just too much.
How wonderful it would be, if you could take my place,
and when you saw your broken form,
then you would see the pathetic look on your face.
But “plop, plop, plop” your vomit continues to roar,
and through the repetitive screech,
how I wish I could slam the door.
I wish I had the strength to leave your
I Won't Let You Become Like MeI saw you fall to the floor.
Because you couldn’t take this anymore.
You laid there and said to me,
Through tears that fell from your eyes,
“Who cares if I were to die?”
Reminding me of those hundreds of times,
I’ve seen people bend and break.
I’ve gotten so used to smiles that are nothing more than fake.
I remembered standing by silently,
Watching everyone collapse around me.
Seeing bottles scattered around,
Broken glass covered the ground.
And I wondered to myself,
“Is he ever going to get better?”
And I watched you as you died,
Slowly tearing yourself apart from the inside.
Memories are still flickering,
Behind my eyes.
I suddenly remember my own cries,
For someone to save me.
Because I was so close to falling,
That the abyss seemed more inviting,
Than trying to hang on for a moment longer.
Because my arms were too tired,
To hold on.
I am back in reality,
Watching you fade away.
And I see myself,
And the countless other people I’ve wit
Stay with meDreams falling apart
Like a castle of cards
Ghosts of the past
Refusing to go away
And the pain of loss
Getting worse each day
This is not
What life should be
This is a nightmare
And I want to wake up
So please don't leave me
When I need you the most
untitled (broken records don't have names)my fingers flutter sunrise butterflies,
floating in the morning
as it breaks through the gloom
that came post-gloaming.
but i confess,
i have no grasp
on what to do with daylight
you were a drop of sunlight
reflected in my cloudy-sky eyes
eventually you became too
good for me, and i gave up
my waxed wings are still intact, but
my shoulders are too sore from
carrying this deadweight with an
obnoxious, obstinate heartbeat
and how are you faring this golden afternoon?
you will never answer and yet
my mind loops broken records,
asking as if you could hear.
light halos the plain beneath my feet
but i shy away from sunshine,
an icarus-inherited fear of falling
or just of
because we were supposed to
be something beautiful, something
worth falling for
(or you were, at least, and there is
no way to ask if you fell hard enough)
but shattered cds still lie on the floor
collecting the sunlight that i
don't know what to do with
because i can't spend it on you, anymore.
Take my lifeThis is what i get. You got your wish, my world is crashing down around me. I should have never let you go. I was wrong. I was more than wrong. Im trying so hard not to do anything stupid. We all have something worth living for, but im tired of waiting for it. You will never see this, you will never care, and you will never love me. Im sorry, for everything.